Song lyrics:
Rocket Woman
De-Loused in the Crematorium
Fight the Forest
Down South

The Start of a great jourey
Friday, 2 September at 11:03

Lead guitarrist/co-front man Figge was seen in the local pub wearing a chicken suit.
After downling four lagers he proclaimed that the was wearing the outfit due to a video production.
However, the manager of GLENN denies that the band currently works on a video
"since they don't even have fu*kin' record deal yet!"

Bass player Erik spent all day yesterday doing weird, but legal, substances in his car.
He would frequently put his head out his sunroof (whitch he has constructed himself)
and shout qouts from the movie A Clockwork Orange to anyone who would listen.

Vocalist/co-front man Sebastian (The Duke) bought himself a reidiqoulusly overpriced leather suite.
The reason, he says, is that he wishes to look "Freakin' hot!". My guess is he will, since lether
tend to cause massive sweating.

Ron Lewon, RS Magazine

"We don't need no fu*kin' back rudder!"
Friday, 2 September at 11:18

GLENN posted an ad on the streets of the homes town in search of a percussionist.
Although singer The Duke protested; "We don't need no fu*kin' back rudder!". The other members
tell the press that the outburst probably was caused by the fact that another would result in the earnings
would be split by 4 instead of 3. Money is something, they say, that "Duke is really...fond of"

Local Larry, The Note Shagger

Another member, but still no Drummer
Friday, 2 September at 11:53

Bazze joins GLENN! "This is bloody insane!" says The Duke. Bazze was scouted by the members
at a local tallent show where the new keyboard player was a member of The Jesus Hives Family Ten.
"Seeing as we both need a keyboard player and a guy with a tattoo, Bazze was a
perfect match. Besides I do owe him some money" says Figge.

Drummer found! Feel Good Hit of the Summer on the way!
Friday, 2 September at 12:26

GLENN has managed to pursuade Per (Big Toy) to join their band. Until now he's been occupied as
the percussionist for the band Sweet Suzie and The Big Toy, but found himself limited in his musical
evoultion due to the bands strict policy of "only polka beats". He joins GLENN as the last member needed
to start the recording of their first song, the Queens of The Stone Age cover, 'Feel good hit of the summer'.
Due to the bands inexperience with hard drugs and songwriting they've changed the lyrics to
"Coffe, cake, sugar, beer and Snuff". The chorus will go "P, p, p, Penicillin!".

Wanda Hugme, The Neighbour Below Magazine

Equipment update
Friday, 2 September at 17:03

Bought new Fender today (Esquire) from a guy in NJ that claimed he only play acoustic sets
these days (the fool). Put it between the band's yacht and the pier, didn't really do the job and now I have
to paint it. Meanwhile our keyboardist (welcome) went out of key(s), he's out shoppin' for new ones right now.
The Duke himself has gone inte reclusion somewhere out in the archipelago drinkin' Jack and, hopefully,
working on some new material (other than leather, that was a mishap to say the least).
Anyway, off to score some New Boots and Contracts).

Posted by d99figge

GLENN reveals new song!
Friday, 2 September at 23:25

Rocket Woman first single of the forthcomming album by GLENN. The Duke turns in his handywork after a
short absence with a JB bottle and a pen. He spent all his time an creativity writing the song,
naked and drunk, in Idaho and crafted the following:

Rocket woman

Found her in the cold of space
She traveled around the stars
Although she didn't know her place
She found herself hangin' in intergalactic bars

(chorus)
Roooocket woman!
Rocket Woman on my mind
So hot she turns me blind!
Roooocket woman!

She has a spaceship GTO
With twin tail pipes and furry dice
Nuttin much I can do
But try to keep up with her lies

(chorus)

She told me she was given her ride
I know it's just a substitute
She told me it was her price as a former bride
I know she took it as payment, being a prostitute

(chorus)

Roooocket woman in space
Think tryin' to find her place

Ralph Tomatho, Vain but Fair

Equipment update, part II or jockstraps might come in handy!
Friday, 2 September at 23:39

Having seen A Clockwork Orange once or twice to many the last couple of days (which might have
caused the delirious and wierd shoutings from inside the car, I dun'no) I wen't down town to pick up
some new bass strings. Heading back home again, listening to The Stone Roses - I Wanna Be Adored I picked
up a complete set of jockstarps for the rest of the band in a nearby gothish shop.
'Cos it might be chilly, loving every naked night and all, things like jockstarps might come in handy to prevent
visible shirinkage, thus causing potential loss in scoring babes. (As a bass player things like this are,
to say at least, important.) The Duke himself got a pair in red leather to match his new leather/metal-style.

Posted by eriktoyra

A productive weekend ends with a new song!
Tuesday, 6 September at 13:00

The Duke ends his productive weekend by announcing his latest masterpiece. The song is a result of
a weekend spent in the Hamptons with G. Busey and some of Columbia's finest.
During the late night/early morning sessions the duo composed a number of song although
only one survived the spur-of-the-moment fire dance of late Sunday.
De-loused in the Crematorium is meant to be played in the same fashion as The Mars Volta do at their live gigs.
Although this raises the demand for yet another keyboardist, a brass section, someone to play the congas,
a grand piano, twelve back-up singers and more of Columbia's finest.
Members of GLENN is to cast a vote on whether the new song should be recorded or thrown to the wolves (literally).

De-loused in the Crematorium

I found myself dead as a dead can be
Couldn't remember why-y-y
I opened my eyes but all I could see
was the white light in the sky-y-y

(chorus)
Dead, de-loused and shaved
Wasted, washed and prepped
Kicked the bucket and tagged
I'm deeeeaaaaad!
Deeeeeeaaaaad!

Never put up a fight in a cage
I learned it the hard way-y-y
To twelve midgets on a rampage
there's nothing to say-y-y

(chorus)

I was strugglin' like a hooked bass
I couldn't keep'em at bay-y-y
Now my eyes are as blue as
the one's on Tammy Fay-y-y

(chorus)

Jay-Jay, Closed Fist Tabloid

GLENN offered record deals!
Tuesday, 6 September at 13:20

As the songs start to gather up the interest of some record companies makes it self shown.
Epitaph I said to be offering a low paying but long term contract which was accepted by Big Toy
without the other GLENN members knowing about it. Big Toy's response to the rumor is
"I though they were tryin' to sell me a cable box. Didn't make no sence. Why the f*ck would I wanna
buy a cable box in a bathroom at Sailor Johns Taverna anyway?" Rumor also has it that both Big Toy and
Even Bigger Toy, Erik both receive free Appletinis for mentioning Sailor Johns Taverna.

Burning Heart approached Bazze at his favorite sleeze show, "Bulky Wandas", with a contract for
one EP and two full length albums. His response though was to beat the representatives over the head
with a plate of chicken (apparently only breasts). The commotion ended the contract
discussion and got Bazze a full weeks suspension from the joint.

Marianne Records called Figge late on Monday evening and told him a deal would be waiting for GLENN
just as long as he laid off his self destructive powder use OR leaked it to the press. Figge's response
"Whut da f*ck are ya'll sellin'? I got plenty powder ya misfit!" caused the "suites" to call The Duke instead.
His reply to the same offer was "The world is square. Get some smokes and follow me
on a trip to all eight corners yo' motha bit*hes!".

The question still remains if GLENN ever will land a record deal,
or stay sober enough to realize they get offered one.

Justine Transition, Musicbiz Stuff

A long absence, what have GLENN been up to?
Monday, 26 September at 22:29

GLENN has had various kinds of trouble according to thought-to-be tour manager George Blake.
He was appointed as the leading strong man of what was meant to be a promotion tour all over Scandinavia.
The band had bookings in Norway, Denmark and Borås but due to a series of incidents
the tour had to be cancelled and Blake fired.

Both brothers Toy suffered from severe fractures after what started as a friendly soccer game against
the new Guns n' Roses line-up. What they didn't know was that Axl had appointed Vinnie Jones as
the bands new bassist and Roy Keane as keyboardist. The game quickly turned into a bloodbath leaving
Big and Smaller Toy bleeding, broken and off the score sheet.

Bazze aimed to celebrate the tour with another tattoo and ended up in a tattoo parlour in Amsterdam.
There he decided against the ink and instead followed a lovely madam to a nearby coffee shop. After some
fondling he got to follow her back home. Feeling like you do after a long night in a Red Light District coffee shop
he managed to get naked, to second base and split his lip on the bed board. The keyboardist fainted
after running 'butt necked' several blocks in the darkest parts of the Dutch city. Three hippies found him and
began to chant him as 'their new leader with a lisp'. Bazze later recovered and made his
way home wearing nothing but a headband and a poncho.

Figge used the time before the tour by spending huge amounts of money and effort on ladies in one
of the local strip joints. After quite a while he managed to bring two of them home where he found out
that they charged extra for their company. Since the money was spent trying to get them there in
the first place it left him no choice but to haggle away his guitar.
This left the GLENN member satisfied, dirty, and one guitar short of being a guitarist.

The Duke was a no show on the final band meeting before the tour as he had travelled to India
to find new roots for the music, Buddha, and cheap smokes. He showed up last night without
new influences or songs. Apparently a bus trip to one of the temples near India's north boarded ended
in a ditch leaving him to wander the area aimlessly for days. While trying to eat a steak straight of a
living cow he got arrested and deported. The co-front man boarded a ship transporting oranges back home.
His distaste for oranges caused him to get scurvy and he has to spend some time in the hospital broken down,
itchy, but with a pocket full of cheap smokes.

Kevin Blake, Tours-R-Us Magazine

New GLENN song reveled with mixed responses
Monday, 17 October at 09:59

The Duke presents a new song to the GLENN repertoire that both unites and distances. As a response to
the planned track the bands hippie/healer/guru (drafted by The Duke in India) has left his position vacant.
The band therefore let it be publicly known that they will be looking for a replacement.
Meanwhile the band goes in to the garage for some rehearsals and some beer.

Fight The Forest

Each year 7000 people die there
Disease and creatures rule there
It's to much for me to bear
It's to much for anyone to bear

Wooooah!
Let's stop the rainforest
We don't wanna be put to the test
GLENN knows best
Let's stop the rainforest!

If we unite in our dream
We could invent a laser beam
And leave nothing behind but steam
Unite in a great big team

[chorus]

There's spiders and other creeps
This is where the piranha sleeps
It has rabies and malaria
It's to much for me to bear'iahhh!

Cut the forest, cut, cut the forest!
Cut the forest, cut, cut the forest!

[chorus] x 2

GLENN hires medicine man/hippie/guru Master Virtue
Sunday, 23 October at 18:25

It was recently announced that GLENN had hired, fired, and rehired a new member to their
ever-growing entourage. The hippie/guru Master Virtue a.k.a. Surreal direct from the deepest parts
of India joined GLENN to finally put an end to the bands bad motivation and troubles with 'substances'.
Master Virtue was presented by The Duke at a band meeting held at Juggs in California (in the Red Romance room).
During the meeting allegations that Virtue had put the vocalists integrity on line while talking to the
Bangladesh Courier were presented by the co-front man. The result of the lively discussion that followed
was the dismissal of Virtue. His response to this was "Whatever man".

Yet again the band stood without a 'doctor' and 'therapist'. After several sweaty hours the band left Juggs
and found themselves without both motivation and 'medicine'. They did however find a Hippie/Guru on the parking lot
meditating deeply, praying for a lift home on an, apparently, alien aircraft. Yet another quick band meeting
was commenced in witch two facts were presented.
A: The band needed a medicine man/hippie/guru fast before the vibe was totally lost.
B: The co-front man/vocalist has never had, and probably never will have, any integrity to put in jeopardy.
Master Virtue was reinstated as the group's connection to their subconscious and to the good stuff.

GLENN to tour!
Friday, 30 December at 14:31

Due to the great demand from the fans GLENN is to do a tour. During the late months of 2005 the band
has found a solid fan base in a remote city on the Australian east coast. The band therefore hires a local
Manager/Roadie/Bus Driver. This tour genius, Dr. Logan, is to meet the band on their arrival
early 2006 in the city of Brisbane, Australia. More to come…

Tour schedule:
Dry Lake Whaki Whaki, Australia - January 3 2006
Borås Folkets Park, Sweden - date not set

Thismamas Gotbigjugs
GLENN newsreel

GLENN, a 2005 summary!
Friday, 30 December at 16:45

The band that became known as Guys Lovin' Every Naked Night, or in short, GLENN was formed in
early September 2005. Their short career has this far resulted in a couple of original songs as well
as some masterfully interpreted covers. Although there has been no record released some
songs already circle the internet and has drawn a solid fan base around the world
(at last count a couple….bunch….some people had heard of them….seven).
- We love all the attention we get! Last night someone came up to me on Sunset and said that he
recognised me. He even knew my name! Says co-front man and lead vocalist The Duke.
- That was me you f*ckin' boozo! Adds co-front man and lead guitarist Figge.

Due to various mishaps, which you can read about in previous posts,
the band has struggled to reach an agreement with a record label.
A rumour has it though, that Virgin is prepared to meet the demands of the band.

On and off through out the year almost all the members of the band has had problems controlling their
urge for 'controlled substances' leaving the rehearsals continuously at least one man short, sometimes 5.
Their next to last recruit Master Virtue has tried as hard as he can to keep the band organized. Although a
Christmas visit to Betty Ford on his own behalf has caused a collective relapse into 'the world of colourful lights'.

The brothers Toy were threatening to leave the band in early December when, as they claimed, the band
was constantly acting 'immatureingly'. They resorted into violence but found them selves to 'refreshed' to
manage to land a punch on anything with a pulse. As a result the two fighters were carried onto
the street by the rest of the band and their paid company Rosalita and Skye. Well there they both found
themselves utterly disoriented and confused and therefore decided to start a band on their own.
They quickly recruited three members from a near by strip joint, The Duke, Figge,
and drummer Bazze, as well as an Indian guru named Master Virtue.

Late December it was announced that the band also recruited a manager, Dr. Logan. He has had a wide
international career as a trapeze artist, door-to-door salesman, and economic advisor for
Mike Tyson and Leila K. His first job is to make the arrangements for the bands first tour. He also provides
a good connection to the South American 'fans' and their 'joy', something dearly appreciated by the musicians.

To end this yearly summary, I am proud to announce that all members of the band are still,
more or less, alive and that new songs soon will be presented in the journal!

Justfull Ofbull
GLENN's Last.fm representative

'The Dry Lake Whaki Whaki gig' and 'Organist married'
Monday, 9 January at 16:02

The year started with a bang, literally. To begin the first gig ever GLENN spent a fortune on pyrotechnics
with the goal of making this a night to remember. They did, however, not spend quite as much
on pyrotechnic experts to set up the apocalyptic mass of explosives. The bang was deafening,
also that literally, causing the entire audience to experience the gig looking dumbstruck, with ringing ears.
The headlines in the local paper the day after the gig told it all: "GLENN - still waiting to be heard live".
Most of the band members as well as the majority of the audience is reported to have recovered
from the stage show, however it is reported that there is an estimated time of 12 years before any
wildlife will return to the area.

To celebrate GLENN's first ever gig the band threw a party in the local tavern. Bazze turned out to be
the night's happiest player as he ended up proposing to local beauty queen Lizzie. The proposal
was met with agreement and the two wed the morning after in a picturesque ceremony,
although the joy showed to be short. Lizze had celebrated her marital state by climbing the great Oak tree
planted on a nearby meadow by the Chinese exchange student Ugh Lee. While climbing she found
herself constantly being stuck on branches since her leather jacket had a vast number of broaches and pins
on the front. She therefore stopped and turned her jacket around, wearing the smooth backside in the front.
This helped her progress up the Oak but unfortunately she is reported to later have slipped and fallen from
the top of the majestic piece of nature. Her tumble to the ground was slowed down as she hit every single branch
as she fell from the Ugh Lee tree. She is also reported to have survived the fall but perished as a helpful
bystander rushed to her aid. He claimed he only wanted to help by twisting her head back to face forward again.
Bazze has commented on the incident with the words: "God damn what a bummer". He seems however to
have fully recovered from the unfortunate ending to his marriage and is back with the band again.

Steve Irwin
Didgeridoo Magazine

GLENN in brawl with Swedish star
Friday, 20 January at 14:02

According to the latest new from cold Sweden the lead singer and co-front man The Duke was
greatly responsible for the latest screaming headlines. During the 2005 P3 Güld awards the singer
encountered Swedish folk-star Håkan Hellström in the backstage area. GLENN had previously issued him
with a request for him to open the infamous Dry Lake Whaki Whaki gig, one he had denied (officially)
due to the birth of his first son. Rumour has it that the Duke had passed the star accompanied by five
of his bodyguards, when suddenly Håkan's wife shouted; "Duke, will you be the godfather of our child?"
followed by a collective laughter. The GLENN co-front man was obviously offended and replied to the
request by asking Hellström to "shut his b*tch up". Håkan therefore turned to his wife and said:
"Shut up, b*tch, heh!" causing everyone to start howling with laughter. What followed the word exchanged
is unclear but the relationship between the Duke and Håkan Hellström has turned really chilly.

Rememb Eraxlvscurt
Kerploinc Magazine

GLENN enters Torino Winter Olympics 2006
Friday, 10 February at 11:53

According to the Swedish Olympic Committee a member of the figure skating team has chosen to use
the GLENN song Rocket Woman to accompany the performance in the competition.
When asked to comment on this matter Dr. Logan replied:
- Ohuy! Call me gay again, and I'll punch you in the frikin' schnot!

Sascha
Eye - SOC magazine

GLENN lands a new producer
Sunday, 12 February at 17:57

The forthcoming album get one step closer towards reality, as GLENN signs with the producer Magnax.
He has proven himself during years as a go-to-guy of Swedish folklore music and has produced
the masterpieces 'Leave my accordion alone (or I'll cut you)' and 'My maypole'.
When making the announcement of the Magnax signing, Dr. Logan adds:
"He has proven that he is a great producer…and a good cellmate."
Lead guitarist and co-front man Figge responds to the deal: "I've heard he has a huge f*cking Yacht.
I'd like to see that. I'd like to see his Yacht. Does he have a Yacht?…I'd like that, a Yacht."
To further mark the occasion of the new GLENN member the band introduces a new song:

Down south

My trailer has colour TV
It has a picket fence
My trailer, as you can see
Is way better the cousin/dad Ben's

(chorus)
Married to my sis
Play Credence on my cassette deck
Ya'll think it's your biz
I don't care. I'm a redneck.

I wear a mullet, red as can be
And a moustache like Magnum
There are no branches on the family tree
I lost some teeth in 92, and then 'sum

(chorus)

Cletus is the name o' my dog
He's pink and has a snout
We don't care that he's a hog
He's friendly, that's what it's about

(chorus)

Grandma/mom is seldom bored
She runs a gun shop
from the flatbed of our Ford
The chorus ones more, then I'll stop.

(chorus)
(pause)
(chorus)

The Ono Okoy effect!
Thursday, 2 March at 13:19

It wasn’t without protests that GLENN announced their newest member. She bears the name of Ono Okoy
and is presented simply as ‘Guide’. Apparently she has been lurking around in the dark behind both of the
front men of the new rock sensation. Research shows Okoy to be a former artist out of Scarsdale, New York,
that recently joined the GLENN entourage. She has been seen with both the Duke and Figge in town
on separate occasions. One might wonder why this black haired ‘guide’ has the privilege of
being behind the curtains with these rising stars.

On another note both the front men were overheard arguing the sound of the forthcoming album with
harsh words and occasional personal attacks in the lobby of Hotel Spar, Arboga. Apparently the Duke and Figge
could not agree whether the sound of GLENN was ‘Zen’ enough or not. Bass player Toy later claimed the encounter
to be the result of “bad guiding” and argued that it might “break up the band”.

Go-Zipp Magazine

The cracks are starting to show in the GLENN hull
Thursday, 9 March at 17:22

Earlier this week the GLENN line-up presented a new face, as well as the departure of others. During
what was meant to be a promotion gig for the band at a local club in Sweden the band spontaneously
burst in to flames of anger and confusion as lead guitarist and co-front man Figge welcomed the band trophy
Ono Okoy on to stage for the opening number. He announced her arrival to what was meant to be the
first live gig with a conscious audience by proclaiming, "The stage is yours, my Muse".
Miss Okoy entered the stage dressed from head to toe in old quilts. She grabbed the mike and spoke,
"We are all a quilt…and I am the stitches that holds us together…let me dance!"
Following this she started to rumble around on stage in what can only be described as an
'epileptic rattlesnake on uppers', accompanied by spontaneous outbursts of screams. Soon after
the demonstration of quilt-power started all band members, apart from Figge, left the stage in anger.
The audience followed their example and left the club empty and in pieces.
Drummer Bazze and both brothers Toy later spoke to the press and explained their disappointing departure:
"That girl is clinically insane. We highly doubt that the padded room she lives in is an art statement,
I think it's padded for a reason".
They also confirmed the fact that the padded studio apartment is the new home of Figge.

Fredrik Virtalainen

Guys lovin' decadence
Thursday, 9 March at 17:23

Following the Night of the Quilt last week the members of GLENN has gone into hiding and left
standing is a pile of fabric known as Ono Okoy. Her shadow, enlarged by the positive criticism given through
various art magazines, hides the once promising band from the public eye. So, with searchlights
we went looking in the dark and found a number of the GLENN members:

Dr Logan and Magnax were the first two member we encountered. In the wake of what they claimed
to be the "death of GLENN" they decided to find a more solid base of income and expression. Therefore
we now welcome the first Motown influenced shoe shop in the country, 'We got Sole'.

Master Virtue, former leading mad man of GLENN found himself disoriented after the quilt display and
decided to hide from reality. He found that the easiest way for him to do this was to embark on a personal
soul search in the misty hills of Scotland. This caused a big problem for him though as his medical condition,
diagnosed as 'Reality Chock' by his Indian doctor Ivegot Blow, needs him to constantly smoke medical Marijuana.
In his attempt to get a hold of the substance he announced his need to buy a 'nickel bag' in the closest village.
The confusion was great when he later found himself invested in the local Bagpipe Marching Band on tour to Glasgow.

The Duke took the Okoy show hardest of all the GLENN members and found only one way out;
outrageous Rock n Roll behaviour. In the spirit of the late Keith Moon he decided to crash his fancy car
into his fancy swimming pool. Even though the idea was great, the outcome was another. When the fog
settled The Duke found himself hung over and knee deep in cow excrement inside a beige Volvo 242 diesel.
The closest thing to a fancy pool, it turns out, was the manure tank at the neighbouring farm,
and the fanciest car he had was also the only one he had, his mothers Volvo.

Magnum Tracy

The arrival of a new entourage member triggers reunion rumours!
Saturday, 22 April at 13:26

During an ongoing investigation related to a Bloods vs. Cripts turf war the LAPD uncovered the secret
getaway for GLENN. The small and smoky lounge/studio was found well hidden behind a crack dealer front,
behind a gambling den front, behind a drycleaner front, in Compton, LA, CA, USA. The report mentions the
presence of GLENN members Toy (both big and not so big), Dr Logan and Magnax (who sold their
shoe business to a franchise, and then got the foot), Bazze (although under his new street name
“O to da Riginal Though’a’lichious”), and The Duke (who, thou still alive, had to be identified through
dental plates as a result of several weeks of ‘decadence’ and easy living). Among the GLENN debris
the detectives also found Bramar (a.k.a. The Bump). This newest member of the entourage
turns out to be man providing yet another piece to the GLENN backbone as he is an excellent Theremin player.

Even thou parts of the band has been located the original GLENN line-up is still not intact.
Co-front man and lead guitarist Figge, the free spirit Ono Okoy, and bagpipe oracle Master Virtue is still M.I.A.
These parentheses aside; The band would still like to announce that as soon as the manage to get
themselves in order they will commence the work on their debut album, under the working title Get yo’ sh*t together.

GLENN was born on last.fm:

It is also here you'll be sure to find the latest additions to the GLENN saga

sebastian frankenberg (C) 2006

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